“I would do something different if I just knew what to do…..”
So first of all I want to congratulate you, well done, for getting through January, a typically difficult month, no money, holding on for pay day, no holiday left, the weather is bleak and life can feel like that in general. Whilst surrounded by resolutions and for most, having broken them already, we often give up and doom ourselves to begin another year just like the last where we want to make change but feel we can’t.
It is a time for reflection and sadly it can bring the same cycle of thoughts around about who we are, how we look and how much we don’t want to go back to work.
Are you happy in your job? And what does that mean, to be “happy” in a job?
When I ask, most people respond “no I’m not happy, because I’m not doing something I love” like people who do pottery or that lady on the tv who lives in the lakes and swims every day and writes poetry!!!. Somehow we all resonate that there is a picture of how it would look to be happy in a job.
I hear helplessness, people don’t actually know what else they would be good at. Or patterns of feeling stuck: “I’m 37 now so no point changing, I have a good salary, the mortgage is being paid and changing would mean we would struggle financially. I don’t want that”. We can all understand that. Bills have to be paid.
And so there we stop. We hit the brick wall. No way through.
Are you living on auto pilot? When you just keep doing the same thing as you don’t know how to change it, and it feels too big a task to change? It works for some people. Others eventually get so depressed they just cannot do it anymore.
You see, when we are younger we live to quite a strategic time frame in terms of our development; School throws all sorts of things at us to try, football, rugby, gymnastics, RE, get your basics english maths, pick your subjects in 3rd year for GCSEs, make sure you get your GCSEs right as that will affect your A level choice, and so on and so on. And in my experience if you didn’t follow the academic route, there was less guidance, both paths forcing children to lead a life that may not be right for them. But, as pressured as that was, there was a structure that gave you a path to follow.
How many of you have that progression structure in your current work? Does it work for you? Can you really openly explore your real dreams and how you want to see yourself in the future, after all you may not want to let your manager know about that secret dream of running a pig farm in wales or taking off round the world to travel and not being sure if you’ll come back!!
You see I believe we all need guidance throughout our lives about all matter of things. And our jobs are usually what we spend most waking hours doing, so it is soooooooooooo important to put time into understanding our career choices and what works and what doesn’t work for you.
Don’t sit stuck. Commit to spending 2 hours a week thinking about your dreams, what other jobs you would imagine yourself doing, or what you would try if you had one week day free to try any job you wish. From here ideas will grow, options will appear, it’s not necessarily about a job title, it’s about the components of the job that make you happy, ask yourself what gives you purpose and drive?
It only takes 2 sessions to unfold ideas that you never thought you had and show you how to progressively work towards a goal or project that will give you a new lease of energy all whilst holding down the day job.
You will start feeling better, you will have hopeful thoughts about the future, and you’ll have fun…it doesn’t take a lot to discover new paths, we all just need a little helping hand.
Please check out my video on this subject (and more!) over on my YouTube channel.